eep in the mountains of Central Europe stood a forgotten fortress of stone, long since abandoned. Deep in this forgotten fortress, long since abandoned, was a treasury full of gold. Deep within this treasury lay one of the great ancient dragons—an archdrake, to be exact. Archdrakes are insatiably greedy, lusting after hoards of gold that they could not amass by any normal means, leading them to terrorize villages and besiege castles. This archdrake had conquered this particular keep long ago, and was satisfied to sit and admire his gluttonous wealth.

His large serpentine eyes scanned the room, appreciating the grand colours of his treasure: gold shining from every coin and crown that littered the floor; great reds and blues and greens of precious stones, socketed in rings and other jewelry; beautiful silks and fabrics delivered from wandering merchants in the past; and, what was this, the muddy browns of a thief’s tattered rags?

This seemed odd to the dragon, who didn’t remember ever having a thief. Was he being robbed of the bounty he had rightfully stolen?

Then came the sound of footsteps against his beloved gold piles. The dragon rose to action, bounding through the halls of his great treasury, ready to pounce on whatever thieving goblin must have wormed its way into his dungeon. He could smell the thief right under his nose. With one great forearm he reached into a mound of gold coins and pulled out a human, who was heavier than usual from all the gold shoved into its pockets. The dragon snarled, making sure to give a strong first impression. 

“Did you really think it would be that easy, mortal?” 

The dragon was also, in fact, mortal, but found that pretending otherwise was an effective intimidation practice.

The human, still suspended in the air between two massive talons, shrugged.

 “To be honest, I didn't think dragons were real.” 

This lowly thief didn't know of the great dragons? Had he never seen kingdoms burned to the ground? Had he never heard the great wyrms roar? He had a reputation to save here.

The dragon puffed out his chest and let loose flames from between his terrifying teeth. Thankfully, for the human, not in his direction.

“Your ignorance has just cost you your life, burglar. This is my fortress, and you will know the weight of your mistakes as you burn alive! I am Arkor, Great Beast of the West. I should burn down your village just for the disrespect you have shown me.”

The human looked puzzled.

“You could burn down Prague? I'm pretty sure the military would do something about that.”

The dragon let out a hearty guffaw.

“Your swords will break against my scales, your shields will melt against my fire, your siege engines cannot hope to match my speed! Your soldiers will not save your people.”

“Well, have you ever dodged a large gun? Or a tank? Or a helicopter for that matter?” the human replied, skeptical.

In truth, Arkor hadn't gotten out much since plundering the very treasure he stood on, so he didn't know what a helicopter was. He changed the subject.

“Tell me, human, have you ever seen this much gold in your life? I possess wealth immeasurable.”

Arkor was sure to catch the human here. After all, greed was the downfall of the previous knights who had sought to end his life. 

The thief peered around the room and scratched his chin. 

“Well, I knew a guy who became a billionaire overnight because of Crypto. He started investing in stocks, so it’s possible he could match what you've got here.”

Arkor was shocked, not so much by the statement itself but the one word: Crypto. Was there some alternative to the gold coin that the humans had hidden from the dragons? Was gold even worth anything anymore?

“What is this Crypto you speak of? Why have I never heard of this?”

The human took a deep breath.

“Well, to put it simply, Crypto is a digital currency—you can’t see it or hold it, but it’s there. It’s intended to help move our money away from centralized banks, to help fight against the breaches of trust that those banks bring about. Although it’s very much up for debate whether or not it can achieve that goal.”

Arkor didn’t believe this for an instant. How could mankind possibly be so naive to use invisible and untouchable currency in place of gold?

“Invisible and untouchable gold—I’m supposed to believe that? ”

“It isn’t gold. It’s a regular currency. No one actually owns gold, but we’ve built up a system of trust in which that unit of currency carries value by being traded for goods and services. So Crypto is more like an agreed upon trust, rather than an inherently valuable material like gold.”

The human hadn’t passed his high school economics class, so he wasn’t sure if he was spouting nonsense or not, but when faced with an actual dragon you may as well swing for the fences.

“Tell me then, human, how would I acquire this wealth, assuming I should desire it?”

“Well, you’d need computers, and everything that comes with them, to be able to mine Crypto. You would build your wealth slowly, piece by piece. You could maybe offer services in exchange for it, which would put other miner’s currency in your, uh, hands.”

The human had very little faith in what he was saying, but it looked like the dragon was starting to think about it seriously. At least, he hoped the dragon was thinking about it, because his life was over if this ancient calamity couldn’t understand basic economics as well as he could.

“Very well then, human. I offer you a deal. You will be allowed to live, only if you can grant me more wealth than I already have.”

“You’ve got a deal, but I get the feeling that we’re gonna be working on this for a while, so you can call me Steven. No need for this ‘little human’ stuff. Anyways, I think I know how we can get started, but we’ll need a decent investment. Oh, and I could use a ride back to town.”

Arkor didn't like the idea of spending his well-earned gold, but if it meant doubling his wealth, he would gladly give up some coins. 

“Very well, Steven the Thief, I shall grant you some of my gold, and I will take you to your town.” 

The dragon placed Steven upon his back and flew off into the night, signaling the beginning of the most bizarre business venture in history.

rkor’s forgotten fortress was soon bustling with construction workers, renovating some of the “unnecessary” rooms of the castle, as determined by Arkor himself. Particularly the throne room, which was now empty, and the gilded throne was now piled somewhere in the treasury. The workers were used to renovation, but that was the only part of this job that was familiar. Stone mountain fortresses weren’t exactly common workplaces. Having a dragon as a client was something they tried not to think about. (Not that they didn’t work for greedy monsters, but that used to be a metaphorical description).

In fact, one of the workers had been struggling with the moral quandary of working for a dragon. On the one hand, it was a dragon that probably killed hundreds back in its day that was about to get its claws on a new economy. On the other hand, you couldn’t fault a wolf for killing a sheep. A dragon's nature is to desire wealth, which seemed more forgivable than the actions of most billionaires. The worker’s quandary was left a comment, something about “these bizarre times we live in.”

Steven the Thief was doing business as Arkor’s associate. Most people tend to buckle at the knees when trying to make a deal with a dragon.

“So you’re telling me your client wants these servers for mining Crypto? You realize the servers we’re offering would be vastly overcompensating for that?”

Steven shrugged.

“Listen, Arkor wants the best of the best. You can see for yourself that we’re good for it, unless you’d rather tell him otherwise.” 

The tech associate nodded and shook Steven's hand, giving the usual formalities before walking as quickly as was professionally possible through the doors. It was funny to Steven how everyone he talked to at the fortress maintained proper workplace mannerisms, as if their entire world hadn’t been flipped upside down by the existence of a dragon. It was impressive that the workers hadn’t quit the minute they removed the charred skeleton of an ancient king from a far corner of the dungeon. They might have worried about a curse, or something of the like, were it not for their new boss, who they weren’t eager to disappoint.

Steven heard a voice calling his name over the sounds of construction and the laughter of a pleased dragon.

It was the construction manager, looking rather nervous. 

“Excuse me, Steven, but the workers have a bit of a complaint that you might be able to help with.”

The manager looked around nervously before continuing. 

“Is there any chance you could ask your client to stop licking his chops while watching the workers? The guys don’t appreciate that kind of pressure.”

“Not to worry,” Steven assured him. “I’m expecting a truck from the butcher, which should keep Arkor full until dinner, so you’ll have plenty of time to finish up before we run into any, um, issues.” 

The manager nodded and went off to tell his people, while Steven went to inform Arkor about their progress. In truth, he had no idea if he could match the investment Arkor put in, let alone get a decent return. Steven needed some kind of backup plan in case Crypto didn’t work out.

“I wonder if Arkor might want to be a celebrity?” Steven wondered, seeing as camera crews were probably already on their way to the fortress. 

he next twenty-four hours went by quickly for Steven now that he had new responsibilities. He titled himself Acountant, Project Manager, Treasurer, Publicist, Consultant, Knight’s Bane (in case any dragon hunters still existed), and Dragon Feeder. Normally, Steven couldn’t handle any sort of responsibility, but working for a dragon made a lot of problems disappear.

Today was a big day.

Arkor was holding a press conference, and dragons are the kind of headline that can change the world forever. Steven was going over the schedule with Arkor, making sure that they didn’t miss anything, particularly since dragons have a somewhat damaged reputation. Steven had already prepped Arkor on recent history and current affairs, which took a surprisingly short amount of time (dragons tend to learn fairly quickly).

“Remember, no snarling, no fire-breathing, and no threats to anyone's bloodline, got it?” Steven warned the dragon. 

“Do not worry, Steven the Thief. They must leave here unscathed so the masses will hear my message.”

Steven hated being called “The Thief” every single time the dragon addressed him, but he was more worried about the message Arkor wanted to send.

“What message? These are just interviews.”

A very nervous cameraman yelled from the doors of the chamber. 

“Hey guys, we’re going live in ten. We need you to come take your places.” 

Arkor left the room, ignoring Steven’s question. The Thief was filled with dread.

The interviews started off well enough. It was hard to get a microphone remotely close to Arkor’s head without it melting, but that was about the only problem they stumbled upon. Arkor was incredibly polite and accommodating to all of the crews and staff, especially considering his fiery disposition, which eased Steven’s fears. For the most part. 

Steven watched as the final interviewer posed their question. 

“Do you have any plans now that you’ve made your public debut?”

Arkor took a deep breath, or maybe it was a regular sized breath? It was hard to tell with an animal of this largesse.

“Yes, I do. I, Arkor, Great Beast of the West, will be running for President.”

Steven fainted.