egion City was the first step forward into a new world—a place where all species from all walks of life could get along. Orcs drank with dwarves, mages shared words with clerics, and life saw no war. The city was the first of many to open their borders and led the charge in advancing a global economy fueled by the currencies of all the kingdoms of old. Time seemed convoluted in the city. Magisters studied ancient tomes under candlelight while the students of the college next door researched online. Witches and Warlocks soared through the air as cars moved through the streets. Skyscrapers shared space with Nordic halls and Gothic cathedrals, with a café or two inbetween.

It was in one such establishment that a private investigator was hoping that his coffee would do the trick this time.

Detective Badger was his name, or at least that’s what he wanted people to call him, as he was no longer affiliated with the police. Badger stared into his coffee cup, wondering how long he could avoid taking up another missing person case, when suddenly a skeleton threw an opened envelope on the table. The skeleton sat across from him. Nicknamed “Bones” by a certain unimaginative investigator, the skeleton was Badger's partner in crime. Together they had solved a grand total of seven cases.

“Read it, Badger,” said Bones with the expert articulation that one associated with someone who actually had lips. Badger pulled a short letter from the envelope that had been stamped with the seal of Legion City Investigative Agency. The letter was written quickly and was very straight to the point, so no one was upset at the lack of fanfare when Badger began to read it aloud. 

“Badger, I have some work that I want to throw your way, but we’ll need to discuss in person. I’ll swing by your office this Thursday at five o’clock to share the details.”

Badger knew who this was before even looking at the signature—Detective Murray.

“Why would she want our help?” Badger asked his partner. “Why doesn’t she just have some other detective take care of it?”

Bones shrugged.

“Beats me. All I know is I’m not getting paid to question it. Right now we’re not getting paid at all. Come on, we don’t have long before she arrives, it’s almost four.”

Badger got out of his chair and stretched a few seconds longer than what was considered normal.

“Alright, let’s go. Should probably clean the office up a little before she gets here.”

The office was a mess—papers strewn about on the floor: pyramids of empty beer cans inhabited one corner of the room, phalanxes of empty energy drink cans threatening to invade from the northern wall. The ceiling fan had a necktie hanging from one of the blades, which was odd since neither Badger nor Bones wore ties. Badger let out a long sigh, a sign that his soul had just donned its cap and coat and left on the last bus. Bones stood next to Badger, completely emotionless, on account of the lack of facial features, characteristic among skeletons. But if he had a face with muscles and all, he would be frowning.

Detective Murray was supposed to arrive in fifteen minutes, and Badger couldn’t risk his office being seen like this. It had been so long since anyone came through the door that he had given up cleaning completely.

“I can’t believe you let it get this bad, Badger.”

Badger threw his hands up in his defense.

“It’s not my fault—we’ve not had a visitor in ages!”

The sound of metacarpals and phalanges slapping against a skull could be heard from the other end of the hallway.

“Badger, our last visit was a week ago,” said Bones.

Badger dropped his hands in defeat and started picking up papers. Perhaps it was time to get a filing cabinet, or a binder at the very least, he thought to himself. 

Bones was making his way through the cans lining the walls, wondering how on earth Badger could eat and drink this much junk and still fit in his clothes. The office didn’t look any better. Badger slumped his head in shame, staring at the floor, hoping something would happen in the next five minutes that would make all of this trouble disappear, and that was when he saw it: a piece of paper, bearing runes, rolled up and bound with ribbon.

“Bones, I need you to get everything in this room into one corner,” said Badger.

Bones didn’t like that idea. He understood that seeing more of the floor would seem cleaner, but a visible trash heap would negate whatever benefit they got from it. He didn’t believe Badger knew anything about interior design in the first place. Bones looked up and saw Badger staring into what must have been a magic scroll. Bones assumed that this, like all other plans Badger had, was going to be a wild success, or at least an entertaining attempt. Bones was content with both outcomes.

etective Murray was making her way through the most empty building she’d ever seen. There were no people, there was almost no noise, and the one functioning ice machine had an odd crooked name tag. There was a reception desk in the front of the building staffed by an elderly Orc woman. When she asked where to find P.I. Badger’s office, she was told Floor Three, which seemed vague, normally they gave you a door number or some directions. Murray climbed the stairs, confident that she could find the room on her own. Once Murray reached the third floor and wasn’t so surprised to find that it was just as empty as the first floor. All the rooms had wooden planks nailed across the front, to indicate in an overly dramatic fashion that whatever was behind those doors had long since been shut down. Down at the end of the third floor hallway, there was one door that still had light shining through the glass. The glass on the door had bold letters running across: Badger’s Off, which explained why the ice machine down the hall had such an odd name tag.

Murray opened the door and stepped inside. The room was mostly empty except for a desk, chair, and a beautiful exotic plant in the corner. Badger was sitting behind the desk in a pose of steadfast ignorance, like a tourist getting their picture taken in front of a culturally insignificant statue.

Badger was the first to break the silence. 

“Alright, let’s hear it. What’s the job, detective?” 

Murray closed the door behind her and placed a briefcase on Badger's desk. 

“It’s not a job. I just want you to look into something for me.” 

“Well, I’m still gonna charge you the job rate. We’ve got bills to pay,” Badger replied with a hint of condescension.

Bones was looking out of the window, wondering if they’d have enough money left to buy window cleaner.

“I’ll pay that, and I’ll give you a fifty percent bonus if you bring me something substantial before Monday morning.”

Before Badger could reply, Bones slapped his hand down on the table.

“We’ll take it!” he said.

Murray shook Bones’s hand and began walking to the door.

“I’ve got a whole write-up of everything you’ll need in there,” she called over her shoulder. “If you find anything, let me know.”

As the door shut, the exotic plant in the corner began to shimmer, dispelling the illusion that hid the trash pile.

Murray’s write-up wasn’t much to go on. There was an increase of beneficiaries being added to people’s wills, and life insurance claims were being taken out regularly, which is hardly something the police get involved with. It wasn’t news that people would shack up with rich old folk to get a bit of the fortune. Even then, the write-up gave no leads or followup options. Legion City was a huge place—you couldn’t just walk out somewhere and run into a clue. You couldn’t go ask some bartender if they’d heard any rumors, because all you’d get is talk about the husband sleeping with the maid.

“I know I wanted a new case, but I had hoped we’d get something better than this,” said Badger.

“What did you expect?” Bones replied. “If it was anything exciting, the feds wouldn’t have given it to us.” 

Badger never liked Bones’ sense of realism. Just once he’d like to hear him agree, even just about what day it was.

“I don’t know Bones. I mean, like, I thought it was gonna be this big thing that Murray couldn’t follow because it implicated the chief or because it was too dangerous. At the very least, I was hoping for a shootout.”

Bones had never liked Badger's sense of imagination. Just once he’d like to hear Badger accept reality, even if it was just accepting that today wasn’t Thursday.

“That’s not how our job works. Our job exists purely to benefit off divorce cases and star-crossed lovers who’ve run away from home. Besides, when has there ever been a shooting here? I’m positive you’re the only person in this city who actually owns a gun. What do you even hope to do with it? The only people you’d ever have to use it on are probably mages of some sort, and that’s not a fight you can hope to win.” 

Badger took offense to that. His gun wasn’t just for show, it also made him feel important. 

“Whatever. We still haven’t got any clues. So let’s hear a little less pessimism and come up with something.”

A little lightbulb went off in Bones’ head, turning him into a figurative jack o’lantern of sorts.

“The files said one of the people died from mysterious circumstances, right? Why don’t we go and make a visit to the catacombs?” 

Badger didn’t see how it would help, but it was better than nothing. “I suppose we could. Oh, and since we’re going out, remind me to swing by the store on our way back.” 

Bones nodded, and the two set out.

he catacombs were a dark place—not literally, as the city did a good job of keeping torches and candles lit so that people could visit their loved ones without worry of demonic happenings. The air was thick with dust, and the torches exuded heat to the point that your shirt was always sticking to your back. Badger hated being down here, but he loved following up on clues. Clues seemed to be the only thing that motivated him, except eating, drinking and sleeping. Bones didn’t much mind the narrow tunnels of the catacombs, but he felt there were too many torches. However, the balance of light and dark was supposed to be the aesthetic.

The duo found their way into the “D” section of the tunnels and started going down the names until they found it: the sarcophagus belonging to Mrs. Donster. Badger put his hands on the side of the lid and looked to Bones to follow.

“There’s no real right way to do this, so I figure we ought to do it the wrong way and hope nobody notices,” said Badger.

Bones lifted his finger for a moment, but no words came to mind. He shrugged and started helping Badger with the lifting. With monumental effort and a loud thud, the lid fell onto the floor. The sarcophagus was empty.

“Can’t say I was expecting that,” said Bones.

“There’s got to be something,” said Badger.

Bones had nothing to offer—they were stumped. Badger's mind was running in circles. The report said “mysterious circumstances,” but this was more mysterious than even Badger expected. He turned to Bones with the look of a man who hasn’t quite figured out what he was going to say.

The two sat down next to the sarcophagus, hoping for some good brainstorming, but their mental forecasts said there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. Then a faint echo passed through the corridor, ever so quiet, but obviously out of place. Bones heard it before Badger, despite the lack of ears, or ossicles, or even a brain.

“Something’s happening—sounds like it’s coming from the center of the mausoleum.” Badger jumped to his feet. As the two moved to the center the echoes became clearer. They were voices involved in some sort of chant. Badger could start to hear them better—they weren’t human but they weren’t far from it, something about the pitch. Bones made hand signals to Badger, something along the lines of “follow me and don’t make a sound.”

Turning the corner, Badger and Bones saw a gathering of small people, which Badger recognized as Gnomes. They were standing in a circle around a table with the body of Mrs. Donster on it.

“It seems to be some kind of ritual,” Bones whispered to Badger.

Bones didn’t know what kind of ritual, but based on the general lack of mutilation he could safely rule out Blood Magic. A tall hooded figure slowly emerged from the darkness, walking towards the circle. The chant grew louder, and the corpse began to shake and spasm. It was obvious to Bones that this was Necromancy, which wasn’t as bad as Blood Magic, but still pretty bad. The corpse was lifted to its feet as muscle and skin regenerated across the body. Badger had never seen Necromancy up close, as it had been made illegal throughout most of the world centuries ago, after the third ghoul outbreak. This Necromancer seemed to be doing a really good job. The ritual came to an end, and Mrs. Donster was no longer a corpse but a fully recovered human being. A Gnome shook her hand as he handed her a sealed envelope.

“Welcome back to the world of the living. These are your new documents. I’d normally say to head straight to the insurance company, but it’s Friday, and the traffic will kill ya. We’re out of here. Pleasure doing business with you, Miss Meridia.”

With that, all the gnomes began walking to the exit, and the Necromancer followed suit, putting on a pair of headphones as he went. Badger waited until the mausoleum was empty to speak to Bones.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but that was the Gnomish Mafia, and they just resurrected Mrs. Donster.”

Bones shook his head.

“They didn’t just resurrect her, they fully brought her back to life—she’s not undead. I’ve never seen a Necromancer pull that kind of thing off.”

In reality, most Necromancers died from their own experiments before getting that good.

“Yeah, this is insane, but more importantly, this is exciting! Come on, let’s get back to the office and tell Murray.”

Bones didn’t like it when Badger found things exciting, but this was still better than another divorce.

They paced back and forth in the office. Murray was supposed to arrive any second now, and they still didn’t quite know how to explain what they’d seen. The fact of the matter was that the Gnomish Mafia was killing people to put their wills into effect, then having their necromancer revive them under a new name, while taking a cut of the insurance. Normally high class folk wouldn’t go near gnomes (they are notorious for being lowbrow, and smelly, for that matter). Chances were they were running from debt, or wanted a new life entirely.

It was like they had stumbled upon something out of Badger’s daydreams. Bones pinched himself to make sure it wasn’t, an impossible feat given his lack of skin.

“Look, Badger, maybe I should do the talking on this one. It’s complicated, and we want to make sure that Murray understands.”

Badger stopped pacing.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Truth be told, I am a little nervous to tell her.”

The door opened and Murray stepped through. Bones was ready to explain but Badger spun around and quickly exclaimed, “it’s the mafia!”

Badger immediately cupped his hands over his face. Bones was petrified by Badger’s blunder, turning to face him with lower mandible agape.

Murray had no clue what just happened.

“I’m sorry, what did you just yell at me?”

Bones walked over and smacked his partner over the back of the head, but Badger remained hidden within his fortress of fingers. Bones let out a sigh and began to explain.

“The Gnomish Mafia has a necromancer, an incredibly talented one. They’ve been using him to run life insurance fraud.”

Murray realised her ears were working perfectly, even if she didn’t want them to. She knew something was up with the life insurance claims. Murray wanted them to look into a few odd events that didn't have enough evidence for the police to get involved. She assumed something was going on, but she hadn’t guessed it’d be the Gnomish Mafia. She looked to Bones, having accepted Badger as absent from the conversation.

“You’re sure it was them?” Bones nodded. 

“Little suits and everything, but the problem is, we don’t have any way to implicate them in court.” 

Despite being smelly and low-brow, the Gnomes were very tidy people, owing to their common practice as potion brewers and wizards, which meant the Mafia rarely left anything of note behind.

Murray shook her head. “Without a court order, the police are powerless. Damnit, I can’t help with this.”

Murray couldn’t believe her hunch was this much on the ball, but she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it, and there was no way these two could achieve anything more on the case.

Badger snapped out of his mood and raised a finger to the sky, or at least the ceiling.

“I know who can help us!”

Bones and Murray looked at Badger, both really hoping he was going somewhere with this.

“We can go to the Paladins.” 

he Paladins were an ancient order of knights dedicated to a life of purging evil, kind of like the priesthood, but with a lot more executions. The Paladin Order traced their lineage back to the Army of the First Kingdom, who marched against the hell priests, or the undead, or something else. There were a lot of branches of the Paladins. They all disagreed on what their ancestors did, but they all agreed on fighting evil.

The Paladin Order in the city had a small cathedral a few blocks up from Badger’s office, which helped because Badger didn’t own a car or broom, and taxi fares were getting out of hand. The duo now had Murray with them, as she was dedicated to seeing this thing through, even if she had to do it off the clock. The team arrived at the cathedral. Two massive doors blocked from entering. 

“Do the Paladins really have to open this thing every time they come into work?” Murray asked.

“It’s just for show, probably on some kind of pulley system to make it easy to open. Watch this.” 

Badger rubbed his hands together and then placed them upon the massive wooden frame, pushing with all his might and stubborn pride, but the doors wouldn’t budge. Badger dropped his shoulders, and without turning around, said, “Alright, forget what I said. Some help please?”

The doors were still no small task for the three of them, but they managed to open it enough to get through. An armoured Paladin guard was standing on the inside of the door. He reached out with one hand and shut it behind them with ease.

The team now stood in a massive hall lined with statues and old war banners. A carpet led them to a reception desk that had the words “Investigation Requests” written on it. Bones found that phrase funny, coming from the Paladins, because the original Paladin language didn’t have a word for investigation. When translators first introduced Paladin culture to Legion City, the best they could do was match “investigation” to an old Paladin word that meant “to smite inquisitively.”

Badger pulled a coin from his pocket and began flipping it while walking to the desk. Bones recognized this display as a symptom of a rare disease known as “Badger hyping himself up.”

The receptionist didn’t look up from her work when she greeted him.

“Welcome to our cathedral. What do you want?” 

Badger began rolling the coin across his fingers, a trick he’d practiced for hours each day.

“I’m here to request an investigation.”

The receptionist looked up at Badger with what might have been the most unimpressed expression Badger had ever seen. Impressive, considering he spent all his time with Bones.

“What for?” asked the receptionist dryly.

“Well, to put it simply, the dead speak, and I wish they’d shut up,” said Badger with a smirk.

Bones contemplated how many times he could facepalm in a day before it became rude. The receptionist kept staring at Badger with eyes of boredom, prying Badger to explain himself so that she wouldn’t have to bother asking for clarification. Badger put the coin in his pocket and spoke in a defeated tone.

“The Gnomes have a necromancer. I figured you guys might want to know that.” 

The receptionist's eyebrows raised slightly, and Badger could have sworn he saw dust fall off her face.

“Alright then, I’ll have someone come down.”

The receptionist got to work typing, clearly done with further conversation.

“You really have a way with words, Badger,” said Murray.

“Look, I thought I would get a better response. Besides, someone had to take charge. I didn’t see you saying anything,” retorted Badger.

“I was waiting for Bones. He’s better at PR.”

Badger could feel Bones smirking, even though he wasn’t capable of it. After a few minutes, a door opened behind the reception desk and a Paladin warrior emerged. She was about 8 feet tall, wearing plate armor and a ball cap with the Paladin emblem on it. As she walked to the team, they could feel the floor shake with each stride, which was unnerving especially to Bones, who technically counted as undead.

“I’m told you have information about a necromancer in the city. Come with me, we have a briefing room ready,” said the Paladin.

s they went, Badger explained the whole situation to the Paladin, the Gnomes, the insurance fraud, the necromancer, but the Paladin didn’t seem to acknowledge it. When they entered the room, they found it filled with fighters and War Priests. Evidently, the Paladins seemed to wait all day for an excuse to fight something, or as they would put it, “smite something.”

The Paladin walked up to an empty podium and began explaining everything Badger had told her.

“Guess she was listening,” Badger whispered to Bones.

As it turned out, the Paladins had already been watching the Mafia for a while, but they didn’t have an excuse to do anything about it until Badger’s new information.

“The Gnomes have a Necromancer, and that will not stand,” the Paladin announced. “We need to launch a decisive strike in order to bring him in before they leave the city.”

At that point, an assistant wheeled a projector into the room and showed the layout of a warehouse onto the wall behind the Paladin, who assigned tactical roles to each of the fighters present.

Murray was shocked by her surroundings—the conference area had turned into a war room in an instant, which worried her. Bones noticed Murray wasn’t exactly enjoying herself, and realized he was in the same boat. It wasn’t necromancy that animated this skeleton, but even then, he wasn’t confident the Paladins wouldn’t try and exorcise him anyway. Badger was beside himself—he had a chance now to see a Paladin siege in person, and he’d be damned if he didn’t go.

The briefing came to a close, Bones and Murray left for the entrance while Badger talked to the Paladin. Murray needed to be away from this. She wanted the Mafia to get caught, but this was a little extreme. Bones wanted to be away too—all the runes and religious symbols couldn’t hurt him, but they did make him feel tingly. The two approached the door when they heard Badger calling from behind them.

“Hey, Bones, we’re going!”

Murray couldn’t believe it. Badger wasn’t a fighter of any kind, why did he want to join a siege? He’d get himself killed.

Bones spoke to Murray as if he had just heard her thoughts.

“He wants to use his gun.”

ight fell on Legion City, and the city fell into slumber. Well, at least half of it did. The day was just beginning for the nocturnal races like Goblins and Dark Elves. The streets were more empty at night since the nocturnal races generally preferred to walk, but tonight there a small convoy of trucks drove to the docks. Inside one of these trucks were Badger and Bones, being briefed on the mission by their armored escort, known as Sister Brutelonius.

“The other enforcers and I will cast a mist of silence into the warehouse to stop their spells, then the vanguard will move in,” said Sister Brutelonius. “We’ll fall in behind them. Remember, just ‘cause we’ve brought you with us doesn’t mean you’re part of the mission. You’re here as observers, nothing more—got it?”

Badger nodded with a smile as he loaded his revolver.

“Crystal clear,” he said.

Bones was nervous, not for himself, since it’s awfully hard to kill a skeleton anyways. He was nervous for Badger, who was too excited about the situation for his own good. Bones knew he had to be vigilant, because if something happened to Badger, he would have to find a new job, and going to interviews as a skeleton never ended well.

The trucks stopped just outside the docks, and the Paladins began gearing up for extraction. It was something of a spectacle seeing them fasten their armor and unsheath their weapons, something about how shiny it all was. Sister Brutelonius held a shield in her left hand, with runes drawn on the inner side to help defend against magic. Brutelonius also carried a thurible with sharp blades attached to it, which to Bones seemed a little counterintuitive, who recognized that thuribles tended to be used for calming purposes, and Brutelonius would be doing anything but that. Badger and Bones felt a bit awkward as they didn’t have any fancy gear to wear or swords to wield. They shook each other's hands to feel as if they were doing something.

he Paladins finished their checks, Badger and Bones fell in behind their designated enforcer, much like boy scouts behind their troop leader. The vanguard lined up in front of the main doors to the warehouse, waiting for the enforcers’ signal. Brutelonius walked in through a side door without so much as a sound, and the two detectives followed.

They were in a small hallway that connected to the main area. Badger held the gun steady as a rock in one hand. He practiced this look whenever he was sure he was alone in the office. Bones stretched his hands out in a rather spooky fashion, hoping anyone that stumbled upon him would be caught off guard by the scary skeleton. Undead were uncommon enough, especially a skeleton as animated as Bones.

Brutelonius knelt down and whispered quiet prayers, causing mist and smoke to rise from the ground. Badger peeked his head through to the main area and saw most of the gnomes already had their wands primed. Other gnomes didn’t seem to have wands, or any weapon for that matter. Badger noticed that the wandless gnomes were actually huge, well not huge, but huge for gnome standards. They were almost five feet tall, really muscley, with long beards.

“What do you see?” whispered Bones to a Badger who had put two and two together.

Badger pulled back into the hallway and whispered with a hint of panic. “They have dwarves!”

At that moment a loud tremor threw Badger and Bones to the ground. The detectives saw two that massive holes (now by normal standards) had been punched into the walls on both sides of the hall. Looking through the hole in the wall they saw Brutelonius in combat with a dwarf. Looking through the other, they saw the Gnome Magic was failing. The dwarves were clashing with the paladins. The gnomes threw away their wands and, almost instantaneously, reached into their back pockets, each drawing a snub-nosed revolver. Badger looked at Bones with the widest grin possible.

Badger took his revolver and pulled back the hammer. He took cover behind a large crate, while Bones jumped in to help deal with the dwarf. Badger was having the time of his life.

“It’s a shootout!”

Things were going just like he had always dreamed. Combatants on each side hid behind crates and air ducts, poking out to fire in the general direction of the enemy. Dwarves and Paladins engaged in brutal brawls, gloves and gauntlets thrown in every direction. Even Bones was out fighting. Badger poked out from behind his cover and fired a few shots at nothing in particular.

Brutelonius was losing ground—her shield was about to break under the pressure of the rampaging dwarf. She didn’t have the time to ready her spiked-thurible for a swing. She needed something to turn the tide. But the brute strength of the dwarf was all-consuming, and the sound of blows raining upon her shield drowned out everything except for the sound of rattling bones.

Bones charged at the dwarf and slapped him across the face with his skeletal hand, which didn’t do much, but Bones was in such a rush from the imaginary adrenaline that he hadn’t thought this far ahead. The dwarf pulled back his arm and sent his closed fist into the detective's ribs, sending his top half flying backwards.

Badger had gotten braver. He ducked and dodged through the main area as the battle raged. He had a box of shells in his coat pocket, and was certain he’d get to use all of them. As he landed on another crate, a gnome rounded the corner and grabbed him by the ankle and threw him to the floor, sending his revolver sliding out across the floor. The gnome attempted to strangle Badger, but was picked up like a small child and thrown against the wall.

Brutelonius had the upper hand; the skeleton's distraction was enough for her to start swinging her thurible, and she now had the dwarf on the defensive. Each of the dwarfs' swings were blocked by the shield and punished with the holy flail. Brutelonius could feel her adrenaline pumping. It would be a great achievement to fell a dwarf, and she’d walk proudly when she returned to the cathedral (as if she didn’t always walk with pride).

Even with the assault, the dwarf wasn’t losing any ground, though, and Brutelonius wondered if she could keep this up long enough. The dwarf could tell the enforcer was getting tired and was about to turn the fight back to his favor, when he was knocked over from the side. The dwarf threw a punch at his assailant, but his fist passed through the air unobstructed, and he was hit again. The dwarf looked down and saw that he was getting kicked by a pair of skeletal legs with no body.

Badger was out of ammo and had been whaling on some gnomes for a while when he heard sirens in the distance. 

The cops would arrest the two detectives same as everyone else, and Badger couldn’t go to jail, he had too much debt for that. The detective got up, straightened his coat, and dashed for the hole in the wall, looking for Bones. He found Bones’ upper half propped up against the wall with his legs jumping on an unconscious dwarf.

“Bones, it’s the fuzz, grab on!”

Badger lifted Bones’ torso over his shoulder and booked it from the crime scene, with the sound of rattling legs following him.

he next day, Badger and Bones were cleaning up the office, for real this time. Badger had even stolen back the missing letters from his door window. Murray had disappeared during the firefight, but true to her word she paid for everything, and was even kind enough to not mention Badger and Bones in the report. The Necromancer was taken into police custody once the paladins and the gnomes had been taken away to jails on opposite ends of the city. Miraculously, no one had been killed. It was a generally guilt-free experience, which Badger delighted in.

“Well Bones, I think we can call yesterday a job well done. I also think that we might be justified in a little toast to our endeavor,” said Badger.

Bones agreed with the sentiment. “I think we would be justified, if we had actually remembered to go to the store yesterday and get something to toast with.” 

The smile faded from Badger's face.

“Damn, I knew I was forgetting something. Well, I guess we should go now then. Any preference?”

Bones didn’t really have a favorite drink just so long as he was standing on top of a towel when he drank it. Bones didn’t answer Badger—he had become distracted by a silhouette at the door. Badger turned when Bones refused to answer—it was hard to tell if Bones was flabbergasted or just looking off into the distance. The silhouette wore a heavy coat, and what looked like a twisted top hat. 

There came three metallic knocks against the door.

“Come in," Badger called.

A tall figure entered, carrying a cane, wearing a long black coat with numerous belts and pockets. The person wore a bandana under their hat, obscuring the whole face except for the eyes, which were focused on Badger. 

The figure spoke with a voice that sounded intentionally raspy.

“Salutations. I presume this is the office of an Investigator Badger. Where is he?” 

Badger wasn’t quite sure what he was looking at, but he knew the ball was in his court, even if he didn’t know what sport they were playing.

“I’m Badger,” he said. “What can I do for you?”

The answer didn’t seem to satisfy the strange man for whatever reason. The room was filled with awkward silence, enough to make Badger question if he’d actually said anything, or just imagined it.

“Is something wrong?” asked Badger, cutting the tension in the room like a baseball bat through custard.

“I apologize,” said the man, “but I wasn’t expecting you to be human. I was prepared to do business with a man-sized badger.” Badger was a little surprised, did people normally think he was an actual Badger? “No matter. What I have for you, Investigator Badger, is a job unlike any you’ve ever encountered, and will pay more than you could imagine. Are you interested?”

Bones leaned over and whispered to Badger.

“This is a definite no. This guy said the word salutations, and that’s as fishy as it gets. Let’s tell him to find someone else.”

Bones faced the man and was about to reject the offer but Badger spoke first. 

“We’re in!”